I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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