All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
