OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
