everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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