Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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