It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
