ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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