Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
