I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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