I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
