i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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