Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
