She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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