Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
