Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
You can't motorboat a personality
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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