What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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