What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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