You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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