If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
