watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
