it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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