i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
