i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
