k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
