I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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