Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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