You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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