T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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