I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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