If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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