We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
