If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
