Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
