So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
