theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
