Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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