I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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