super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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