You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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