Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
