better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
