I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
