They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
