You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
