Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
