those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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