New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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