so explain again why im purple
no
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
