I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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