The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
