yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
